This goes along with the other three in the series, only now it's getting deep and angsty! If you need to catch the other four, you can find them here.
WARNINGS: Allusions to m/f sex
SPOILERS: 10/18/01 Smackdown
DISCLAIMER: This story is not meant to reflect the true natures, personalities
or sexual preferences of the people involved. I do this without their permission
and I do not own them.
DISTRIBUTION: Just my site and the Smoochy Dreams site.
Oh no what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle
Oh I turned to run
The thought of all the stupid things I've done…
Oh no I see
A spider web and it's me in the middle
So I twist and turn,
Here am I in my little bubble…
Coldplay—‘Trouble’
Steph tried not to flounce as she walked down the hallway, since there were a lot of people milling around. Putting on her best cool and collected act, she made her way through the corridors to Chris’ dressing room—glancing around occasionally to make sure no one was paying attention to her.
“Steph!”
She nearly jumped out of her skin, and stopped, turning to see Dwayne standing there, hot and sweaty from his match. She tried not to seem startled.
“Dwayne…” she wrung her hands nervously, putting on a fake smile. “What can I do for you?”
“I just wanted to tell you I had a good time out there with you tonight…” he grinned, in that way that was very Dwayne and not Rock, so charming and almost cute. “You’re really fun to cut a promo with.
“Thanks…” she giggled, relaxing a bit. “You’re not so bad yourself…and you and Chris make one hell of a combination…”
He grinned again, shrugging a little. “I like to think we can entertain a few people…”
She laughed and patted his sweaty shoulder. “Well, I’m sure we’ll have lots of fun at the pay-per-view on Sunday, too…you get some rest, and take care of yourself…I’d stay and talk, but I got some things I gotta go do.” She didn’t want to brush him off, but she really didn’t feel like hanging around there talking to him—she had a date to keep.
“You too…” he nodded and continued grinning, giving her a wave. She waved back and turned to go, forcing herself to walk slowly and not run.
Once she was out of his sight though, she picked up the pace and hurried the rest of the way to Chris’ dressing room, hoping she didn’t miss him.
When she got there, he was already standing outside it, still dressed in his tights and boots, with a T-shirt on. He had his duffel bag sitting on a table next to the door, rummaging through it.
“Chris…” she looked behind her to make sure no one else was around, then hurried over to him, grinning. “I was hoping you hadn’t left yet…” she noticed his hair wasn’t wet, and frowned a little, puzzled. “Not taking a shower before you go?” He always showered at the arena—he didn’t like being all sweaty and hot on the drive back to the hotel.
He didn’t say anything, just stuffing some things back in his bag and zipping it up. She grew worried.
“Chris?”
“Steph, what are you doing?”
She blinked, not sure what he meant. “Huh?”
He looked up at her, and she could see that he was angry, with just a touch of something else that she didn’t immediately understand in his eyes—something almost like sadness.
“Look at how you’re dressed…” he gestured to her outfit.
She looked down at herself, frowning. She had on shiny black vinyl shorts, and what she thought was a beautiful top—see-thru black lace with frilly sleeves, a black silk bra beneath it, peeking through. The outfit was topped off with a pair of black vinyl knee-high boots—she thought she looked pretty sexy, herself.
“What about it?”
“Christ, Stephanie…we practically matched when you came out there! With those pants I had on…”
She frowned even more, putting her hands on her hips. “So? The wardrobe lady gave me this outfit!”
That was only partly true. It was one of several outfits she had brought to wardrobe to wear for the week. But even though she brought them, they picked out which ones she was going to wear on what night. The fact that she had bought a pair of vinyl shorts that matched Chris’ pants was just a coincidence…
“What about doing my pose? That wasn’t in the script, Steph!”
She scowled, irritated now, not sure what he was getting at. “So what? The fans loved it—and it’s something my character would do!”
“Why don’t we just call my wife and Hunter and tell them we’re fucking?”
Steph gasped. She felt like he had punched her in the stomach. She cast her eyes down, heat creeping up in her cheeks.
“Chris! I wasn’t trying to…”
“Oh I know…” he grabbed up his duffel bag, slinging it over his shoulder. “You weren’t trying to send any messages. I should have known it would come to this, where we started slipping. And I should have known there would come a day when you wanted more.”
She gasped again, looking up at him in utter shock. His words hurt, and tears instantly pricked her eyes. He still looked angry, but when he saw her expression his face softened, eyes growing definitely sad.
“I have to go…” he said, his voice quiet. He turned away and headed for the door at the end of the corridor.
She just stood there and watched him go in stunned silence, wanting to run after him, or yell at him, or demand he stay and talk to her—but she couldn’t move. She just watched him go out the door, a gust of cold air left in his wake sending a chill over her, a glimpse of blond hair ruffled by the wind the last thing she saw.
She crossed her arms over her chest and held her arms, head lowering slowly and staring at the floor. For a minute she just stood there, barely breathing, her heart pounding in her throat. Then she looked up at the door again, almost as if he would come back. But he didn’t, and a few silent tears slipped down her cheeks.
***************
The hotel the wrestlers were staying at had an arboretum downstairs, with a fountain and plants and a few benches. At that late hour, she was the only one there. Sitting on a bench near the fountain, she was now dressed in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, with a flannel shirt over top it. Her arms crossed over her stomach and head bowed, she stared down at her sneakered feet, hair hanging around her face.
She didn’t understand—everything in her head was starting to blur into confusion. She really thought she could handle just having a sexual relationship with Chris, nothing more. And she believed that, even now. Had she really been sending signals? Hoping for more?
It was true when she saw those shorts in the store they reminded her of those lovely vinyl pants that Chris wore. But that wasn’t the only reason she bought them…and she had done a few things and bought a few other things that reminded her of Chris, but that was only natural. Even if they were just friends, she might have done that.
She did think about him a lot…
Every day. All the time…
She sighed, looking up at the fountain. She had cried a little in her car at the arena, but then forced herself to get it together and drive back to the hotel. After going up to her room and changing, she stared at herself in the mirror for a long time, then brushed her hair out and went back downstairs—meaning to get something to eat at the little restaurant in the lobby. Instead she ended up in the arboretum, and that’s where she had been for nearly an hour.
So what happened now? Was it over between her and Chris? Did she ignore him at the shows, when she saw him at meetings, when they passed in the hallways? Could she really do that?
She looked down at her shoes again, sniffling a little. The sound of the water splashing in the fountain was soothing, but she was too depressed and miserable to be comforted by it. She knew she would get over this—she had Hunter to go back to, after all. And she really did love him.
But there was still something about Chris…
She wiped at her eyes, trying to push it out of her head. What she was doing was wrong anyway—she had no right to be upset about it.
She sat there for a while longer, pulling a foot up and resting it on the bench, her arms wrapped around her leg and chin resting on her knee as she stared at the fountain. Just as she was thinking about leaving, she heard someone walk up behind her. Quickly wiping her eyes and pushing her hair out of her face, she composed herself, clearing her throat.
She looked up, expecting to see security or someone from the hotel come to tell her they were closing the arboretum and she needed to go. Instead, she was startled to see Chris standing there.
“I looked all over for you Princess…” he said softly, with a sad chuckle. “I thought maybe you left.”
He was dressed in a pair of faded, tight-fitting jeans now, and a plain white T-shirt with dark blue stripes at the sleeves and neck. His hair lay soft and shiny on his shoulders, catching the light from the fountain. His eyes were sad and his expression forlorn—seeing it made her heart leap and her stomach flutter. Whether it was from happiness at seeing him or nervousness, she wasn’t sure.
She swallowed hard, looking down, her heart twisting at the use of his pet name for her. “I just…felt like sitting somewhere and collecting my thoughts…”
He was silent for a moment, and she continued staring at the floor, afraid to look up at him.
“Can I sit down?” He asked, his voice still soft, shifting a little.
She nodded, not looking over at him as he sat down beside her. His nearness made her ache, and she tried to push down that feeling, like she had been pushing down her feelings for the past couple of months. She wanted to be with him, and the only way to do that was to live by the rules.
He was quiet for a while, arms resting on his legs, staring down at his hands. Then he turned his head toward her and spoke.
“I’m sorry about earlier…about what I said to you. I was angry, and…upset.”
“Chris, I would never try to give us away…” she played with her shoelace. “I don’t want to hurt Hunter or your wife…I would never want that.”
“I know…” his voice sounded pained. “I wouldn’t either. This is getting more and more risky though…” he hesitated, then whispered. “In more ways than one…”
She shivered, her eyes lifting to look at him. He was staring at her so intently it made her blush. And there was still that forlorn sadness in his crystal-blue eyes.
“If it’s too dangerous, then…” she stopped, and bit her lip, unable to say it.
He sighed, looking toward the fountain. “I’m on the brink of this huge break in my career and everything is starting to fall into place for me—it’s finally all coming together. I can’t afford the element of risk right now…”
She looked down, eyes filling with tears, her heart breaking. But she knew this was how it had to be, and forced herself to be strong.
“I know Chris…” she said softly, her voice tight and controlled. “I knew how it had to be when we started this, and I accepted that. I accept it now.”
He looked back at her, but she didn’t look up at him. She didn’t want him to see the agony in her eyes.
He leaned over a little, putting his hand on the bench beside her. Leaning closer, so close she could smell the faint scent of his cologne, he spoke, his voice shaky. “I’m glad one of us can…”
She looked up at him, startled. There were tears in his eyes, and she was shocked to see them. Only rarely did he show her any powerful emotion outside of lust—it was easier that way. For both of them, really.
“Chris…” she blinked, and tried to speak again, but she wasn’t sure what to say.
He swallowed, and looked down, his hair slipping around his face. “I’ve tried to make this just about the sex—I love my wife.”
“I know you do…” she glanced around to make sure no one else was there, then slipped her hand over his. His skin was soft and warm. “I love Hunter. And I’ve tried to make this just about the sex too.”
He sighed and shook his head a little. “I knew if we kept doing this it would turn into something more. Now we have to make a choice…”
She nodded, feeling her heart twist as all those emotions she had tried to stuff down started rising up and she had to pay attention to them. She knew if she had to break away from Chris she would be miserable. But it wasn’t right, and it wasn’t fair, and it was getting too risky for both of them.
“Chris, we have to do the right thing—I don’t want to jeopardize your career, or your marriage. Any more than I already have, anyway…”
He looked up at her. His tear-filled eyes were so sad that she just wanted to lean over and kiss his eyelids.
“I know…but…” he drew a shaky breath. “I don’t know if I can do the right thing.”
She reached up, taking a lock of his silken hair and winding it gently around her finger, biting her lip. “What’s the alternative then? Keep doing this and risk getting caught?”
“It would be better than being without you, Steph…”
There was so much emotion in his words and actions that it took her breath away. They always held so much back from each other as far as feelings went. But now to see them so raw and powerful in him, reflecting her own denied desires, it was almost too much for her.
“Chris…I…”
“No…” he shook his head, and lifted his hand to press his fingers to her lips. “It’s too complicated right now…just say you’ll come up to my room with me…”
She opened her mouth a little against his fingers, just staring into his eyes. With all her body and soul she wanted to say yes, though her mind was telling her she shouldn’t—that she had to end this, that it was the right thing to do.
“Chris, we shouldn’t…”
He silenced her words with a fierce, hungry kiss that made her gasp. She seriously hoped no one was around, and the fact that he didn’t seem to care if there was or not scared her in a giddy sort of way. She didn’t move at first, contemplating pulling away. Then she gave in to the aching in her heart and kissed him back feverishly, fingers tangling in his hair.
When he pulled back, the look in his eyes was one that she was familiar with—but the emotion it was tempered with nearly made her melt. He wasn’t hiding anything from her now.
She took her fingers out of his hair and brought them to her wet, swollen lips, tracing her fingertips over them and looking around nervously. They were still alone, though. She looked back at him, trembling.
He held out a hand to her, and she stared at it, heart racing. They couldn’t walk upstairs holding hands, but she took it and let him help her up.
He didn’t let go of her hand right away, and she looked down at them, the warmth of his skin against hers making her body respond in ways she couldn’t control.
“Come on…” he tugged at it, his eyes holding hers, full of both need and burning emotion. She wondered if he saw the same thing in hers.
She followed, her hand still in his, wondering what the rest of the night would hold—and if she would wake up in the morning and regret it.
************
Laying tangled in sweat-dampened sheets, the scent of sex and him all around her, Steph was almost frightened by how content she was. She lay on her side, staring out the window on the other side of the room. Chris’ slick body was pressed against her back, both of them panting lightly. His arm wrapped around her waist felt so comforting, so right. His lips gently kissing the back of her neck made her shiver.
Her body was still buzzing from their lovemaking—that’s what it was this time, without a doubt. Lovemaking. She felt wonderfully stretched and wet between her legs, filled with his essence. His softening cock rested against her ass, leaving a damp trail on her skin. She snuggled back against him, enjoying his solidness pressed against her.
Her eyes flitted to his cell phone laying on the stand beside the bed. The voice mail light was flashing, like a little beacon in the quiet darkness of the room. It made her nervous. Chris didn’t usually put his phone on voice mail at night, and she wondered if his wife would get worried and call the hotel—or show up. Of course that was crazy, because she was thousands of miles away. Paranoia was starting to set in.
Chris rested his head against her shoulder, and they lay there in silence for a while, his hand caressing her cooling skin. It was both wonderful and painful to be with him like that.
“What are you thinking?” He finally whispered.
“I don’t know…” she said softly. “What are you thinking?”
“That we’re crazy…that we should have stopped before we let it get this far.”
She nodded a little, even though those words stung. They were so true.
“So what do we do now?” She asked. They seemed to be dancing around their feelings a little still. Neither one was prepared to utter those three binding words, yet it was in their hearts. It was what they felt. And that’s what scared her the most.
“I don’t know…” his hand slid down over her hip, caressing slowly. “I know the right thing to do would be walk away from each other. But I don’t think we can do that…”
She closed her eyes, swallowing and fighting back tears. “We should…”
“We can’t…” his voice fell to a pained whisper. “I can’t…”
Hearing him say that filled her with both giddy joy and unbearable sadness. As much as she wanted to claim him as all hers, and to hear him say that made her heart soar, she knew it was impossible. There was far too much in the way, too many walls between them.
She shifted away from him, and turned onto her back, so she was looking up at him. He leaned over and kissed her gently, lips soft against hers.
When he pulled back, she gazed up at him, his face just barely visible in the streetlight coming through the window. “I can’t either…”
Admitting it took her breath away, and he rested his forehead on her shoulder, pulling her tighter against him. She clung to him, closing her eyes and wishing all the complications away, even though she knew it was impossible.
She was grateful, at least, that neither of them were saying those three words right now—the ones that would do them in, and make this fully impossible. She almost prayed they never came.
He didn’t let her leave that night. It was the first time she had ever spent a full night with him. She dozed fitfully, wrapped in his arms, keenly aware of his presence. Sometime before dawn, he drew her deeper into his embrace, and she sought out his kiss and touch in a sleepy haze. The kisses grew deeper, the touches more passionate, and with both of them still between wake and sleep, he filled her. It was almost comforting, to feel him inside her, to feel the weight of his body above her, the feel of his lips on her ear as he whispered soft, senseless words to her. She held onto him, moving her body gently against his, a soft, sleep-muddled cry escaping her as she came. His fluids filled her anew a moment later, his trembling body warm and sweat-damp against hers.
She managed to fall asleep after that, opening her eyes again to morning sunlight streaming in through the window. Chris was almost uncomfortably warm against her, the sheets wound around them and bare limbs tangled, his soft snore the only sound besides her own beating heart.
It was odd waking up next to a man again—she had only been home with Hunter a few times since he got hurt, so she spent most of her nights alone.
The peace and quiet lasted for another half hour, then the silence was shattered by the phone ringing. It made Steph jump, filling her with worry, then she realized it was probably Chris’ wake-up call. He mumbled and stirred, and picked it up on the third ring. Judging by the few grunts and ‘mmm-hmm’s’ he gave, it was just that.
After he hung up, he sighed and cuddled against her, voice groggy. “Morning already?”
“Unfortunately…” she smiled a little.
There were lots of things to do that day, and they needed to get up and get started. But they snatched another fifteen minutes, kissing and cuddling, before finally they had to drag themselves out of bed.
Steph dressed while Chris used the bathroom, hoping she would be able to escape the room without being seen. She just prayed no one had come to see her at her room or called her this morning.
When she was dressed, she watched Chris dig through his suitcase, nothing but a pair of plaid boxer shorts on. She went over and slid her hand up his back, caressing it.
“I better get out of here…I’ll see you this afternoon…”
He stood up, and turned to look at her. He was still sleepy-eyed, and a little haggard looking. He pulled her into his arms and held her for a long moment, then drew back and kissed her firmly.
“I’ll see you, Princess…”
She nodded, slipping reluctantly out of his arms. Making sure she had everything, she laid her head against the door and listened. She didn’t hear anyone outside.
She opened the door just a tiny bit and peeked out, looking up and down the hallway. No one was around—she needed to make her escape while she could.
As she slipped out, she glanced back into the room, seeing Chris pick up his cell phone from beside the bed and just stare at it, sighing. She quietly pulled the door shut and padded off down the hallway, heart aching.
What a tangled web this was becoming…
THE END (for now!)
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