JR: And we are LIVE for Summerslam! Heyman: Let the bodies hit the floor!!!
JR: Will you stop that?
My Time plays...
Heyman: And here is the Billion Dollar Princess, the Queen of Extreme, the owner of ECW, and my boss, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley!
Steph: Tonight is the Night of Champions!!! We have Stone Cold Steve Austin defending the WWF Championship against Kurt Angle! We have Booker T defending the WCW Championship against the Rock. AND, most important to me, we have the ECW Champion, RHYNO!!!
Rhyno comes out, wearing the ECW title belt...
JR: The ECW Champion?!!! How many World Heavyweight Champions do we HAVE, anyway?!!! Don't you guys recognize Booker T as champion?!!!
Heyman: We recognize him as WCW Champion, just as we recognize Stone Cold Steve Austin as WWF Champion. Rhyno is STILL ECW Champion!
JR: But why bring up the old ECW titles, now?
Heyman: Well, why don't we let the boss talk?
Steph: At Unforgiven, next month, we will see an undisputed world heavyweight champion crowned. Now, most of you assumed that it would be the WWF champion vs the WCW champion. Well, there are THREE Federations here, and ECW WILL be represented in a three way dance!!!
JR: WHAT?!!!
Heyman: You heard the lady!
JR: But... Rhyno hasn't even DEFENDED that title...
Countdown...
JR: And I think someone will have something to SAY about that!
Y2J's music plays...
Jericho: Would you PLEASE... SHUT THE HELL UP!!!
Steph: Um, nobody's saying anything... Or are you talking to the crowd?
Jericho: Oops... Well, ANYWAY... You're parading around your ECW Champion, who I have a match with tonight, and announcing that he's going to have a shot at the undisputed world heavyweight championship! So... If you're so damn CONFIDENT, put the title on the line!!!
JR: Yeah! If she's so...
Heyman: Would YOU please shut the hell up and let her speak?!!!
Steph: I had a feeling you'd want that. And I am SO confident that I even have a contract drawn up and with me, ready for you to sign!
JR: She has a CONTRACT with her?!!! Where?!!!
Steph reaches into the top of her blouse and pulls out a contract...
Steph: Here ya go.
Jericho glances over contract, and refrains from sniffing it...
Jericho: Yep, for the ECW title, and a shot at the undisputed championship at Unforgiven... Give me a pen... Um, I won't ask where you were hiding that... (signs contract)
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JR: And the ECW Championship Match is underway, and I think Stephanie McMahon Helmsley will regret putting the belt on the line!
Heyman: We'll see, JR, we'll see!
--------------------------------------
Backstage...
Regal: I can't believe she bloody risked this... (reads contract) Oh, bloody hell... (runs)
----------------------------------------
JR: And Y2J's locked in the Walls of Jericho!!! We're about to see a new... Wait!!! What's Regal doing?!!!
Regal runs into the ring, and knocks Jericho away from Rhyno...
JR: MY GOD!!! The WWF Commissioner is BETRAYING the WWF!!!
Jericho and Regal are slugging it out...
JR: And here comes Kurt Angle!!! Olympic Slam on Regal!!! NAIL that traitor!!!
Rhyno gores Angle...
Heyman: GORE!!! GORE!!! GORE!!!
JR: But Jericho has Rhyno!!! He's locking in the Walls, again!!! Rhyno's TAPPING!!! IT'S OVER!!! Chris Jericho has defied the odds, and is the NEW ECW CHAMPION!!!
Jericho holds ECW belt high, triumphantly...
Jericho: HA, Princess!!! I have your precious ECW Championship!!! AND I have the shot at the undisputed championship!!! I took EVERYTHING you could throw at me!!! I don't know HOW you turned Regal against us, but... Why do you have that evil smile?!!!
Regal: You... bloody... IDIOT!!! You didn't read that contract you signed, did you?!!!
Jericho: Yeah... Well, I skimmed it... Didn't read the fine print... Um...
Regal: Here, look at this...
Jericho: "In the event that the WWF representative wins the ECW Championship, he will be under the jurisdiction of ECW..." Yeah, SO WHAT?!!! You may control my booking, Princess, but my loyalties are STILL with the WWF!!!
Regal: Um, keep reading...
Jericho: "...and will, hereupon, be the personal slave of the owner of ECW, catering to her every whim..." What? What?!! WHAT?!!!!
Steph: C'mon, Chris, you're starting to sound like Austin.
Ivory climbs in the ring...
Jericho: BUT... (looks desperately at Regal)
Regal: Don't look at me, mate. You signed the contract.
Steph: Mmm... Y'know, I'm beat... I could REALLY use a back rub...
Ivory begins applying collar and chain to Jericho...
Ivory: Mmmm... Can I borrow him, sometimes?
Steph: Of course.
Heyman: NOW, you know why Ivory joined the Alliance!
Angle: Well, look at it this way... You've got your title shot at Unforgiven.
JR: This is HUMILIATING!!! This is HENIOUS!!! This is DEGRADING!!! This is SICK!!!
Heyman: It's called paying your dues, JR.
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