Dedication: Everyone who is mentioned by name. My 'sisters' falln and Scatts. Lilly, Katie, Tegs, Pheobs and Christa. World domination will be ours!! *evil laughter that turns into a hacking smokers cough*
Spoilers: Only the hysteria that accompanied seeing Chris Jericho in Speedos.
It was that time of week again. It had seemed like only yesterday that they'd all gathered for their weekly meeting of Jerichoholics Anonymous. The hall was unusually full of people, mainly teenage girls and young women. The Smoochy Dreamers were out in force, most of them clutching cold drinks and discussing the large turnout, which, most of the regulars correctly assumed, was because of what Chris Jericho had been wearing - or more accurately, hadn't been wearing on Smackdown.
"That swimwear company have a lot to answer for." muttered Pheobs, the latest in a long line of Jerichoholics turned Smoochy Dreamer. Christa and falln nodded emphatically, falln keeping an eye on her 'list children' as her 'twin' Mercury32 reminisced with LillyV about The Brood.
Eventually, everyone made their to their seats for the meeting. The regulars took their usual places at the front, while the numerous first timers filled up the rest of the hall. Christa looked around with a scowl. "Typical. Hormonal teenagers taking up good space. Bet they won't be back after this week."
Scattia patted her on the shoulder absently, as Tegan cleared her throat up the front. "Wow, it's great to see such a good turnout this week. Um, I was going to contact Speedo and ask them if they had any idea what they've done to us, but everytime I practised my speech, I turned into a blubbering mess. To all our new members, remember, we are powerless over the effect Jericho has on us. Tonight's speaker is going to be - Oh. My. God."
"My God?" cracked Katie, who was up the back with the rest of the slashers. "Is He a Jerichoholic as well?"
Tegan continued to stare at the back of the hall without speaking. Slowly, everyone else began to turn around as well, a silence falling over the normally rowdy group as they took in the sight of the late arrival, who was growing increasingly uncomfortable with the unwelcome attention.
"Um, I thought this was Jerichoholics Anonymous." Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley finally spoke, placing heavy emphasis on the word 'Anonymous.' The group started talking among themselves, the loudest of which being the Smoochy Dreamers. Stephanie distinctly heard several voices shrieking 'I knew it!' from the front of the hall and stormed towards them.
"How long have I been saying it for?"
"A damned long time!"
"And not only has she been saying it, she's been brainwashing others."
"Uh, hello? How do you think I got writing Smoochy fics? Just to stop her complaining that there weren't any out there!"
"I always wanted to take a sign saying 'Steph is a closest Jerichoholic'."
"Which of you two are falln_angl and Mercury32?" snarled Stephanie, pushing her way into the knot of babbling people. There were two short girls in the centre of the group. Upon seeing Stephanie one froze, while the other looked around for an escape route. "That's falln I'm Merc I'm just going out for a cigarette after all this is a non smoking place right?"
Stephanie raised an eyebrow as Mercury got all of that out without taking a breath, then bit back a laugh as falln's hand shot out and grabbed her friend by the back of the jumper. "Oh no you don't my dear twin."
"But you started it!" whined Merc. "I'm just flying ignorami for sobbing out -"
"And don't think that quoting my favourite movie is gonna get out of trouble!"
"But -"
"Ahem." Stephanie cleared her throat, stopping the argument before it could get started. She opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by a cheerful English accent. "Wow. How'd you do that? Whenever I try to shut them up, they ignore me completely."
"So you two are falln and Merc?" Steph ignored Scattia, who rolled her eyes. "Are you the duo with too much time on their hands who set up the goddamned Smoochy Dreams page?"
"Maybe?" squeaked falln, looking intimidated. Merc nodded and sighed. "Is this about copyright? Cause I thought all the disclaimers were in place."
"Look can I talk to you two in private?" Stephanie looked around and realised the three of them were the centre of attention. falln nodded and the trio headed outside as the buzz rose up again. Stephanie looked at them. "I need your help. I figured that since you two are responsible for this, then maybe you can get me out of this."
"You can't just 'get out' of being a Jerichoholic." Merc nodded. "And trust me, you can deny it all you want, but he gets to you eventually. I'm blaming the vinyl. And the hair. And the smile. And the eyes. And the -"
"We get the point." falln elbowed her sharply. "But I don't see what you want us to do."
"And what do you mean we're 'responsible for this'?" Mercury's famed delayed reaction sensor kicked in. Stephanie sighed. "Well, I found the Smoochy Dreams site one day while I was on the net."
"Well you'd hardly find it on the side of a bus."
"MERC!"
Stephanie turned her attention to falln, who seemed to be the saner of the two. "It was like a car wreck - you can't bare to look and you can't look away. Against my better judgement I checked out the 'Smoochy Moment's' page. It kinda got me thinking. And next thing I know, he's teasing Trish about her stupid push-up bras and I'm wondering if that means he's got a thing for her and getting jealous!"
"Jealous?" they parroted. Steph nodded, looking miserable. "I think I have a crush. I don't want to. I'm with Hunter and I'm very happy with Hunter. But Chris Jericho is just... well he's Chris Jericho."
Merc opened her mouth to speak, but falln and Stephanie shot her identical looks, so she stuck a cigarette in there instead. falln sighed. "I understand Jerichoholism, I really do. It's a lot worse for you, actually knowing and spending time with him. Does Hunter have any idea?"
"I don't think so. He's fairly preoccupied with his return at the moment." Stephanie chewed on her bottom lip. "Can you girls help me or not?"
"Well, just like any other addiction, it's not something that you can just snap out of." Mercury replied thoughtfully. "It'll take time and patience." Off the looks on their faces. "I'm a smoker, I know what I'm talking about."
"So what do I?" Steph asked helplessly. falln and Merc exchanged a look. "Welcome to Jerichoholics Anonymous."
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