Spoiler
Kurt Angle fought RVD for the Hardcore Title, and ended up being taken out on a stretcher for his efforts. Meanwhile, the Rock insulted, and dared put his hands on, Stephanie. Michael Cole, meanwhile, had a VERY rough night, being humiliated by both Rock and Austin.
Warnings: Sexual situations and violence.
-------------------------------------------
JR: We've just gotten word of an incident in the back area... Michael Cole, what's going on?
Cole: Well, you saw Kurt Angle being wheeled into the back area on a stretcher after his Hardcore match with Rob Van Dam...
JR: And that was INSIDIOUS!!!
Heyman: Oh, come ON, JR!!! You know the Hardcore rules!!! If it had been a WWF guy who did it to an Alliance guy, you'd be praising it!!!
JR: Well... That'd be different!!! It was the Alliance, so it's INSIDIOUS!!!
Heyman: You are a HYPOCRITE, JR!!! You...
Cole: Um, guys, would you like to know what happened?
JR: Um... Yeah...
Cole: Kurt Angle was being wheeled to an ambulance (We see footage of Kurt being wheeled out), when THIS happened...
On footage, Chris Jericho suddenly runs out...
Jericho: Tried for the Hardcore TITLE, huh?!!! Look what it GOT you!!!
Angle: Unnnghhh... Chris...
Jericho: (looking crazed) Thought you'd win the belt and get STEPH, huh?!!! After you said it wasn't ABOUT that!!!
Angle: It wasn't... I was challenged...
Jericho turns stretcher over, spilling Angle to the floor...
JR: My GOD!!! Chris Jericho has absolutely SNAPPED!!!
Heyman: He's MAKING A STATEMENT! Not sure what it is, but he's making it!
Cole: I'm going to try to get an interview with Y2J...
JR: Um, considering what happened to you tonight with Rock and Austin, maybe you shouldn't...
Heyman: There he is! Try to talk to him!
Cole: Chris! Can we have a word, please...?
JR: (to Heyman) You're sadistic...
Cole: Chris!
Jericho spins around, looking ready to hurt...
Jericho: WHAT?!!!
Cole: What you just did to Kurt Angle...
Jericho: I can be as tough and mean as Angle and Van Dam!!! Everybody treats me like a baby! Well, I'm HARDCORE, NOW!!!
Cole: Well, maybe you're going a bit overboard?
Jericho grabs Cole and throws him through a conveniently placed plate glass window, with green trim...
JR: OH, MY GOD!!! This is SICK!!! I can't BELIEVE this!!!
Heyman: Neither can I!!! I mean, does EVERY arena we go to have that same, exact, plate glass window with green trim?!!! Kane threw Raven through one JUST LIKE IT at Wrestlemania, and Undertaker threw Austin through one just like it a couple of months LATER!!! It's like we're carting this thing AROUND with us!!!
Meanwhile, the Rock has been in the ring posing all this time, and is finally climbing down...
When, out of nowhere, Jericho charges out and starts beating the Rock with a steel chair...
JR: OH MY GOD!!! Chris Jericho has charged out of nowhere and is beating the Rock with a steel chair!!!
Heyman: THANK you, JR!!! We'd have no idea what was going on if we didn't have you to state the obvious...
Jericho: Insult MY woman, will you?!!! (WHACK) You... (WHACK) Do NOT... (WHACK) Touch her!!! (WHACK) NO one... (WHACK) Calls her a slut... (WHACK) But ME!!! (WHACK) She's MY slut, damn you!!! (WHACK)
JR: THIS IS SICK!!! THIS IS SADISTIC!!! THIS IS... Uh oh...
Jericho turns towards JR...
Heyman: Slooowly he turns... Step by step... Inch by inch...
Jericho: (to JR) YOU!!! You need to learn RESPECT, and TERRITORY!!!
Jericho grabs JR and throws him over the rubble of the announce table (destroyed earlier in the night when Undertaker was thrown through it)...
Heyman: Let's see you call play by play, NOW, JR!!!
JR: OOOF!!! OH MY GOD!!! Jericho has just thrown me... And now he's slamming me into... OWWWW!!!! ...the ring steps!!! Now, he's putting me into the... AHHHHRRRGGGHHH!!!! ...the Walls of Jericho...
Heyman: Now, THAT'S dedication!!!
Backstage...
Matt: Damn, Chris has really lost it...
Lita: I KNOW! What IS it about that woman that drives every guy who gets interested in her nuts?
Jeff: (walking up) WHOA!!! That's HARDCORE!!! Anyway, guys, I've got the volcano set up... I can't WAIT to jump over all that fire with my bike...
Lita: (to Matt) Are you SURE he didn't sleep with her?
[ email author ]